Ok, not to be sad or sappy but.. I've got to say something.
It's been a few weeks, and it's odd. After being employed for 7 years, you get in the habit... of, well being employed. On one hand it somewhat guarantees shelter and food for you and your family, but on the other hand it sells your time and your life. It's what makes time move far beyond it's normal pace accounting for age, moving you even faster into a rut. Even if your job is unbearable, your mind adjusts and becomes fixed and set eventually. And worse if you love your job, you put more of yourself into it until it becomes you.
This can be good.. if you're a doctor, or a fireman, or some other life saving personnel. These job titles almost transcend the idea of employment though. They become a "duty". A permanent fixture in the life of the person, and those whom they serve.
Work of all forms though, seems a painful necessity for our society to succeed and grow, in that our children miss out on half of their parenting some of the time to simply ensure a place to be parented. Although a major part of parenting is guiding, like helping keep your kid's bike steady as they pedal their two-wheeler to get their balance. The idea isn't to hold them up for the entire time, because the eventual and expected outcome is for them to ride free (And usually fall a few times).
Having free and independent time to learn and understand who they are and what they want to become is a necessary and quite frighting part of growing up for the kids, and for the taller children that raise them.
Anyways. For the first time in years I'm putting out my feelers in the job market and I feel a bit like that kid that got one too many years away from mom and dad. I was 19 last time I looked for work, and now with a family doubled in size, two car payments and at least 20 years of job experience crammed into the last 7; I feel ready, willing and nervous.
Some little part of me craves the usual rut... but the rest of me wants a real challenge, and something to be proud of, in some form or fashion.
Here's hoping for something.
